Reflections of a Core Team Member: Relationships, Challenges, and Adventures

There is so much I can say about my time at In My Shoes. A year ago, I had never imagined what was in store for the next 365 days. Something I always said while serving at In My Shoes was, “If I can do it, anyone can do it.” I said that because before beginning my year of service, I was finishing my last year of college majoring in… engineering! My exposure to this type of work was little to none, but my desire to help and empower these women was enough to allow me to say yes to a year of service.

With the help of the community around me and dependence on God, I was able to accomplish my tasks which included anything from taking care of a baby to creating a budgeting program during my year of service at In My Shoes. Each task, no matter how small or big, was worth it because these mothers – these women with different personalities, goals and backgrounds – were all worth it!  I am in awe that I got to spend a year with them, and that every day I was able to show them that they’re loved, worthy and powerful, even in times of crisis. My title at In My Shoes was a Residential Core Team Member. Throughout my time, I fully unpacked what this title means and entails. If I had to describe that role in three words it would be: Relationship, challenge and adventure.

Part of my role was building relationships whether it was as being a friend, a sister or a companion. Many of the women who came to us lacked support, especially strong female support. These relationships are essential in helping them grow into the women God created them to be. My personal experience building relationships with strong women all throughout my life helped me to love those I served and those I served alongside. The most amazing part in building relationships was that by the end of the year, it felt like the moms were a sister or a close friend! This is what community is: sometimes it looks like playfully joking around with one another, but other times it looks like being vulnerable and talking about life’s struggles

Being part of a community like this has its challenges as well. The reality is that there’s hurt, there’s drama, there’s conflict, and there’s ambivalence. Sometimes it takes some work and mental resilience to help these women feel empowered and realize the reality of who they are and what they can accomplish. In these relationships I have built with the moms I served, I didn’t always have the answers on how to best support them in their past trauma and hurt they’ve experienced. It’s tough. It was a challenge to show tough love (especially being a people-pleaser), and it was a challenge to go outside of my comfort zone on many occasions.

Thanks be to God for my fellow team members who accompanied me as we journeyed along with these women. The community we built amongst the team members was a true blessing.  My teammates were there to pick me up when times were tough. They did this by talking late into the night in the chapel, role playing scenarios to address difficult topics with the moms, giving me advice, or simply by showing me unconditional sisterly love and support. Doing this type of work together with other Residential Core Team Members who have the same goal and desire to serve the women and babies in the home created a special bond that I will always cherish. Because of my fellow team members, I was able to crawl, walk and thrive alongside these women!

A great part about being a Core Team Members is that every day is different and can become an unexpected adventure. One of my favorite adventures while living in the house was spending most of one day at the hospital where I ended up picking up TWO moms and TWO newborn babies to bring home! Another time, a mom and I went to explore Klyde Warren Park together. It was our first time going; finding parking and navigating traffic was an adventure of its own that day! Last January, I helped manage HUNDREDS of volunteers from the Notre Dame Alumni group who were all in the house on a Saturday morning – an adventure to say the least and something I never would have thought I’d be doing! I give these examples to illustrate some of the unforgettable experiences that happen while serving at In My Shoes.

During my year of service, I made sure to be intentional about taking time to pause and capture a mental picture of all the incredible moments I’d experienced. When I close my eyes and think about my time there, it’s like a mini-movie of different instances – and in all of them – there’s laughter! It was a privilege to be welcomed into the lives of the women who call In My Shoes home, and it was such a joy to get to know each of them and walk alongside them during their journey of pregnancy and new motherhood. Building such meaningful relationship with the moms, babies and my fellow team members was definitely the biggest gift I received. For anyone who is considering taking this leap of faith and going on this unpredictable journey of a year of service with In My Shoes as a Residential Core Team Member – do it, you won’t regret it!

-Ruth, Residential Core Team Member from July 2018-July 2019, Texas A&M graduate, class of 2018